Progress City, U.S.A.

Yes, what about that, Mr. Eisner?

With all the fooferall surrounding recent rumors of a fifth gate (or 4th and a half gate) in Florida, I’ve been reminded of an odd period in Disney history when, from 2000 until 2002, Disney operated a website called thirdthemepark.com. Occasionally when I make joking reference to the site as a generic verbal stand-in for any gross instance of managerial hubris, I find that Disney fans don’t remember or were not aware that this page once existed.

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Thirdthemepark.com is a fairly interesting piece of Disney theme park lore, especially for those interested in the NeverWorld of lost park concepts. While the site itself is long gone (its URL is currently owned by an individual in Colorado), one can still view elements of it courtesy of the Internet Archive. So lets travel back, forty thousand years (or, say, seventeen), and take a look at this mysterious website and the process leading up to its creation.

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Two days ago the first of the new Mark VII monorails was delivered to the Disneyland Resort and boy, is she a saucy wench. The first new Disney monorail since the last of the Mark VI’s were delivered to Walt Disney World almost 15 years ago, the new Monorail Red is set to go online in February 2008 according to the L.A. Times. Two other new monorails, blue and orange, will follow in spring and summer.

The new monorail evokes the aesthetics of Bob Gurr’s original designs for Disneyland’s monorail, as seen in the attraction poster on the right. The L.A. Times quoted lead Disney Imagineer Scot Drake as saying the Mark VII design represents a “streamline optimistic vision” of a “fantasy future that never was.” Guess we’ve kinda given up on that future then, eh WDI? Good thing we have no need for sleek and efficient rapid transit today - whew! Silly old people and their silly optimistic views of the future!

Hey, at least they look cool. More pics are up at MiceAge.

It was seventy years ago today, on November 21st, 1937, that Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs premiered at Hollywood’s Carthay Circle Theatre. Many of Hollywood’s royalty were in attendance that evening, but mixed among them were the anonymous and unknown animators who had struggled to create the film. As they watched the audience watch the film unspool, they realized that they had succeeded in achieving what many had claimed was impossible - the creation of a feature-length animated feature that would engage and affect audiences as much as a live action film.

Disney fans probably know all the stories and what was at stake; every ounce of the studio’s resources had been sunk into the film. Walt himself had mortgaged his home; he constantly struggled to find additional funding as the film’s budget skyrocketed from the original $500,000 to a then-astonishing $1,500,000. While not everyone echoed the sentiments of those who referred to the film as “Disney’s folly”, few could probably have anticipated the massive public response that followed Snow White’s release.

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Yesterday, Disney went live with their new webpage for Toy Story Mania!, the new attraction for Disney-MGM Studios and California Adventure (where it will be known as Toy Story Midway Mania). The page (pictured above) is still rather sparse, but features a few pieces of concept art and behind the scenes images (through the ViewMaster on the left) and a short video blurb by Imagineer Tom “Walking, Talking Press Release” Fitzgerald (via the videocamera on the right).

The attraction, an interactive dark ride set to open next year, seems to be a combination of two earlier concepts. It’s partially a next-generation Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, but instead of dimensional sets and laser guns the ride will use computer animation and stereoscopic 3-D effects to simulate a shooting gallery environment. As can be seen in the pictures on the site, the “spring action shooters” that are attached to the ride vehicles seem quite similar to the cannons in the Pirates of the Caribbean shooting game at DisneyQuest. Toy Story Mania! thus seems to combine the VR technology of the Pirates attraction with Buzz Lightyear’s omnimover system.

In the ride, guests will pull back the spring on the shooters attached to their vehicles, launching a virtual projectile at a series of targets themed to different environments and characters from the Toy Story films. Guests will wear 3-D glasses, giving a depth of field to the shooting galleries and adding realism. One of the more interesting aspects of the attraction is that the computers running the show will change the difficulty level for each individual rider based on their skill, thus changing the show every time you ride it.

So load your shooters, take a double dose of your A.D.D. medicine and head on over to Disney’s site for a preview. Be sure and enjoy Fitzgerald talking about “the classic carnival games that we all know and love”… whatever, dude. The L.A. Times has also posted a short article about the attraction.

Recently, Bob Iger and Co. unveiled plans for an extensive overhaul of Disney’s California Adventure. Nestled among the plans including blockbuster attractions in Carsland and a complete redo of the opening plaza was a long-shelved attraction based on The Little Mermaid. Disney followers will know that this was originally planned for EuroDisney, and can even virtually ride through the planned attraction on the Special Edition Little Mermaid DVD.

This excites me, not only because it is clear that the new regime at WDI is dusting off plans for fifteen year old rides, but because the scene shown in all press releases is the “Kiss The Girl” scene. In addition, there’s a wonderful “Under the Sea” scene on the version of the ride shown on the DVD. One way or another, you know that with a Little Mermaid attraction you are going to get good songs. These Alan Menken and Howard Ashman ditties have stood the test of time, even surviving 80’s musical production values.

Expect DCA visitors to be spotted later in the day in queue for Grizzly Soak’n Wet Wild Ride or lounging in the new Beergarten to still be humming along or outright singing these songs hours later. It is an art that until recently I thought lost to Disney theme parks. In the age of Test Tracks, Mission Spaces, and even the wonderful Tower of Terror, you do not get many songs for your buck anymore.

True, the Mermaid attraction is in a way cheating, because these songs are already well known and were paid for years ago. It’s a step in the right direction. All the heavy hitting attractions of Walt’s later years have wonderful songs written just for them: “Yo Ho (A Pirate’s Life For Me)” for Pirates, “Grim Grinning Ghosts” for Haunted Mansion, and the most polarizing and infectious, “It’s A Small World,” on which the entire attraction hinges.

Even less blockbuster attractions recieved their due in musical attention. “There’s a Great Big Beautiful Tomorrow” and later “Now Is The Time” for Carousel of Progress, all the wonderful music involved in the Enchanted Tiki Room and the Country Bear Jamboree. “Miracles in Molecules” for Disneyland’s Tomorrowland, and “Meet Me Down On Main Street.” I challenge a man to walk out of Carousel of Progress or It’s a Small World not at least humming, even if it makes them feel foolish.

There’s merit in this. After all, part of the “Disney Difference” in corporatespeak is to “Preserve the Magical Guest Experience.” Listening to these songs on record at home had a very transportative property that would put me back at WDW, just as much as a strange sulfurlike smell would make me think that Rome was burning.

Speaking of which, this song argument is one that I would throw to the wolves to argue the greatness of EPCOT in its early years pre-Epcot 95 identity crisis. Every attraction had great music to back it up, and I weep for the younger generation growing up without these songs. “Fun to Be Free,” “Listen To The Land,” “Tomorrow’s Child,” “New Horizons,” both Energy songs (not to mention the infectious song from El Rio de Tiempo) - these are all lost to us now, except from downloadable devices. At least “One Little Spark,” one of the Sherman Brothers classics survives in revised and weakened form. Consider it a lesson learned, WDI.

I believe they have considered it of late, actually. Two examples in recent EPCOT work leads me to believe all is not lost. Though at the expense of the previously mentioned song, the new El Rio De Tiempo, The Gran Fiesta Tour, showcases an even older theme from The Three Cabalieros.

Even more exciting news is over at The Seas with Nemo and Friends, as well as Finding Nemo The Musical. There Avenue Q composer Robert Lopez and his wife, Kristen Anderson-Lopez were commissioned to write all new numbers AFTER the movie came out, including the wonderful “(In The) Big Blue World.” Immediately, the humming and post ride singing returns to EPCOT - and, for a moment, all appears to be on track.

Until next time, this is Beacon Joe signing off.